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APHORISMS 



OF THE THREE THREES 



BY 



EDWARD OWINGS TOWNE 



*t*A 



i ■ 



An Aphorism is the sum of a long reflectio7t; a sentence 
embodying a deep thought; a fezv words conveying a wor- 
thy sentiment. 



JAN 6 1887 £ / 



^ washing^ 
CHICAGO 

CHARLES H KERR & COMPANY 
1887 






COPYRIGHT, 
1886, 

By Edward Owlngs Towne, 



W. S. BATTIS & CO., PRINTERS, CHICAGO. 



This little book derives its name — Aphorisms of The 
Three Threes, — from the fact that its contents, for the most 
part, are made up of the utterances of the members of a 
small south side club called The Three Threes, — an 
association of nine well known business and professional 
gentlemen of Chicago, who dine together, at stated inter- 
vals, in the club rooms of a down town restaurant. At 
these meetings, held "every ninth night after the first 
night of each and every of the nine months following the 
ninth month of the year," called "Ninth Night Banquets," 
it is the custom of the members, "seated in threes at three 
three-legged tables," to spend the entire evening in discus- 
sions upon such topics as suggest themselves, or may be 
called out by the events of the day. From these after- 
dinner conversations the aphorisms of the following pages 
have been gathered by the writer, to whose habit of noting 
down such observations of his friends as seemed to him to 
be particularly original, witty, sparkling or just, he owes 
it that he is able to present to the reader a volume which 
he hopes may not prove to be altogether unentertaining or 
uninstructive. 



Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 



MAN'S worth may usually be measured 
by the number of sacrifices he has 
made. 



It is not in being deceived that we are 
pained; it is in being undeceived. 



3 
If you would hear a wise man speak like 
a fool, get him to talk about his children. 

4 
It is a question, frequently, whether the re- 
membrance of our joys or of our sorrows 
furnishes us with the more satisfactory recol- 
lections. 



6 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 

5 
Soft words strike hard blows. 



He that goes into debt makes himself the 
slave of the future. 



7 
A woman never sincerely hates a man 
whom she has not loved. 



How wise we would all be, could we but 
recall, upon occasion, the thoughts we have 
forgotten. 

9 
How quickly one forgets the things that 
move him most. How quickly a face van- 
ishes into a dream. How quickly a love be- 
comes a memory. 



Aphorisms of the Three Threes. . J 

10 
He argues best who never contradicts. 

II 

Women write as they dress — to be ad- 
mired. 

12 

Our best wish for our friend would be — not 
that he might never have a disappointment, 
but — that he might never have a disappoint- 
ment that might not be for his good. 



13 
He that is prone to construe to his own 
disadvantage every look and word of his 
neighbor passes sentence upon himself as 
meriting the supposed criticism. For he 
that looks for censure will seldom fail to find 
it, and kind fortune has so ordered, that the 
occasion will be rare when he will not merit 
Avhat he gets. 



8 , Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 

14 
To be happy, make others happy. 

15 
Arm wit with sneers and you have sar- 
casm. 

16 

The most selfish man is not always selfish. 
Let no one plume himself on a single good 
action. 

17 
The greater part of the business of society 
is small talk. He that takes anything to 
heart, said in gossip, is foolish. 

18 

People of equal mental capacities are al- 
ways mutually attracted. Thus a fool is 
never so happy as when surrounded by an 
hundred others. 



Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 9 

Patience is the noblest form of courage. 

20 

He that has many faults has few excuses; 
he that has few, has many. 



21 

Youth is the time of choice; old age is 
moral or vicious by habit. 



22 

Poverty is the usual heritage of the son of 
the father, who was ever the poor man s 
friend. 

23 
Woman plays the greatest havoc with the 
mildest weapons. She has been known to 
sink a navy with a tear, to scatter an army 
with a smile, to buy a world with a caress. 



io Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 



24 
To be kind is to be wise. 

25 
Age is not experience: some men are old 
at thirty, others young at sixty years. 

26 

From childhood the world constantly be- 
comes narrower until it reaches a point in 
death. 

27 

Women are more apt to fall into love with 
men that pretend to love them than with 
those that really do. To one who loves 
with his whole heart, the issue of his suit 
is so momentous, that he stands but an un- 
equal chance with his skillful, fearless rival, 
upon whom failure can entail no more ser- 
ious consequences than the soon forgotten 
pangs of wounded vanity. 



Aphorisms of the Three Threes. n 

28 
There is always luck in a little ill-luck. 

29 

The really unfortunate victims of drink 
are the drunkard's friends. 



30 

The years dim the eyes of those that love, 
that age may see no wrinkles in the dear 
familiar face. 

31 
If you would have a woman think you per- 
fect, accuse yourself of faults which you do 
not possess. If you are charitable and kind- 
hearted, confess with penitence that your 
most grievous sin is selfishness. She will 
quickly take up the cudgels for you to defend 
yourself against yourself, and will soon, in 
her earnestness, become blind to those faults 
which you really have. 



12 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 

32 
Our fears furnish our hopes with wings. 

33 
An atmosphere of applause is the paradise 
of fools. 



34 
Men are more frequently jealous from 
pride than from love. 

35 
How few the friendships that endure, 
when to be faithful is to incur reproach and 
shame. 

36 

Notwithstanding professions of friendship, 
no prudent man will believe that a man who 
was once his enemy has become sincerely 
his friend. 



Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 13 



37 
Every friend multiplies myself. 

38 

The dead are lonely in winter. Grief 
freezes as well as love. 

39 
To make a fool your enemy is, frequently, 
to make a wise man your friend. 

40 

If a man wrote all his thoughts in a book 
the best name he could give it would be — 
A Volume of Confessions. 

41 
We find more generous poor men than 
generous rich ones. The poor are generous 
from sympathy; the rich, too frequently, 
from pride. 



14 Aphorisms of the Three Threes, 



42 
There is a laughter sadder than tears. 



43 
The dishonest man's most skillful antago- 
nist is himself. 



44 
Nothing increases our respect for a man 
so much as to see him respected by others. 

45 
There are virtues that, adhered to too 
strictly or carried too far, become vices. 

46 

The presence of poverty softens the heart; 
the presence of death renders it humble. 

47 
What a home of follies the human heart 
would be, did not one drive out another! 



Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 15 

48 

Repentance is God's fire for refining souls. 

49 
He that pockets an insult usually thereby 
pockets money. 

50 

Every public work of a great city should 
be a work of art. 

5i 
He who thinks he needs it not, stands most 
in need of experience. 

52 

The more men deceive others, the more 
they deceive themselves. 

S3 
For the majority of men, it is pleasanter 
to read modern criticisms than old plays. 



16 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 



54 
Our hopes end in — hopes. 

55 

If you would see a plain woman beautiful, 
put love into her eyes. 

56 

Since the world began, a good dinner has 
ever made a wise man happy. 

57 
When a vice wishes to disguise itself, it 
almost always assumes the garb of its op- 
posite virtue. 

58 

The chief use, at the present day, of the 
jury (an ancient relic of times when people 
hanged witches and ate without forks) is to 
delay justice and render litigation uncer- 
tain and expensive. 



Aphorisms of the Three Threes. i? 

59 
If sin be beautiful it is no longer sin. 

60 

The older the bachelor, the younger he 
wants the lady to be. 

61 

The child is like the narrow man; the nar- 
row man is like the child. 

62 

Terror and joy are not altogether strang- 
ers. Love frequently surprises them in very 
close company, 

63 

He who never fails in an undertaking is, 
usually, of a soul so narrow that it can be of 
little consequence to the world whether he 
succeeds or does not succeed. 



1 8 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 

6 4 

Great virtues magnify little vices. 

65 

Pity for others is courage; pity for our- 
selves, cowardice. 



66 

Praise, though deserved, is mere flattery, if 
he who yields it hopes thereby to benefit 
himself. 



67 

An engrossing vanity will not brook jeal- 
ousy; but a jealous man is always somewhat 
vain. 

68 

The most ordinary life, were its secrets 
fairly written out, would read very like a 
romance. 



Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 19 

69 

Wit is wisdom's playground. 

70 

One can hear everything at a watering 
place, except people saying their prayers. 

7i 
The majority of people, it would seem, 
spend half their youthful days striving to 
render their old age miserable. 



72 

The truth concerning a contemporary can 
not be known; invariably, his friends make 
him better, his enemies worse, than he is. 



73 

The pain occasioned by a request granted 
too late is greater than the pain occasioned 
by a request denied. 



20 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 

74 
Love is the key of heaven. 



75 

It is difficult to be witty in the presence 
of those we fear. 



7 6 

The slave for whom there is the least hope 
of freedom is the slave of an idea. 



77 
We frequently show a consideration for 
two, in company, which we would bestow 
upon neither, if alone. 

78 
No man is so great that he can borrow no 
lustre from his friends; no man so low that 
he may not be further dishonored by his 
associates. 



Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 21 

79 
A mistake can never be wholly rectified. 

80 

An unhappy childhood embitters a whole 
life. 

81 

They that govern by fear are themselves 
governed by passion. 

82 

Not he whom men deem successful is to be 
envied, but he that has a happy, virtuous 
and contented heart. 

83 

The road of vice is a complete circle. He 
that travels upon it is constantly shaking 
hands with the same old landlords and be- 
ing bitten by the same old dogs. 



22 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 

84 
Memory is a good staff, but a poor sword. 

85 
Most follies die of their own extravagan- 
cies. 

86 

Passionate memories are sometimes more 
powerful than present emotions. 

87 

That which we have long expected fre- 
quently comes when we are least prepared 
to receive it. 

88 

The question most often on a woman's 
lips, in addressing her lover, is .... Are 
you sure that you love mef The thing 
about love that a woman would last part with 
is ... . loves protestations. 



Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 23 

89 

Smiles and tears are very near relatives. 

90 

We more readily forgive grave faults that 
do not injure us, than slight ones that do. 

91 
Of pride and interest, pride is the greater 
liar. 

92 

If you would flatter a man, remember his 
face ; if you would wound him, forget his 
name. 

93 

There is a sad infinity, called the world, 
in which a man can never distinguish true 
from pretended friends, except he have the 
misfortune of being covered with calumny 
and reproach. 



24 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 



94 

More faults have been cured by ridicule 
than by reason. 

95 
We answer the questions we put to our- 
selves with shrugs. 

96 

We trust nothing so fondly as hope; yet 
nothing has so often deceived us. 



97 
A bad system of art usually receives its 
death blow from the devotion of its follow- 
ers. 



98 

The height of a man's monument, dead, is 
usually in exact proportion to the length of 
his purse, living. 



Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 25 

99 
He may be bold for a cause that is timid 
for himself. 

100 

Philosophy frequently reiterates what wit 
has better said before. 



101 

The most disgusting affectation is the af- 
fectation of being unaffected. 



102 

A gentleman is a man who respects him- 
self and has a heart solicitous for the welfare 
of others. 

103 

How many faults, that before we did not 
perceive, we are able to find in the man that 
has slighted us. 



26 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 

104 

They that tell lies should have long mem- 
ories. 

105 

If we seek more than one woman's love 
we deserve none. 

106 

Almost every vice can be shown to have 
had its origin in some other vice. 

107 

None are so foolish as those that pre- 
ceded you; none so wise as those that come 
after you. 

108 

The difference between love as a passion 
and love as a sentiment is almost as great 
as the difference between love and hate. 



Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 27 



109 

The guilty conscience discovers a punish- 
ment in every misfortune. 

no 

There is nothing so honest as prejudice 
— and nothing so fatal to honesty. 

in 

To have an opinion is to be unpopular; to 
have no opinion is to be contemptible. 



112 

One should in youth practice the virtues 
of old age, if he would in old age enjoy the 
delights of youth. 

113 
When one has learned to boast so grace- 
fully as not to offend his neighbors, he has 
mastered a useful art. 



28 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 



114 

Success makes men daring; fortune favors 
daring men. 



US 

Cruelty for a moment is sometimes kind- 
ness for a lifetime. 



116 

The greatest harm that some men can do 
a woman is .... to love her. 



117 

If we would win confidence, we must seem 
to bestow confidence. Diplomacy has no 
deeper secret. 



118 

In order to judge a man we should know 
not only what others think of him, but what 
he thinks of himself. 



Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 29 

119 

In all change there is a tendency to the 
better. 

120 

It is impossible to think well of a man and 
ill of his friends. 

121 

The woman whose virtue does her the 
least honor is the homely woman. 

122 

Nothing will bring thoughts of ourselves 
so quickly to mind as to hear others talk of 
themselves. 



123 

When fortune lacks other materials for 
making a successful man, she seizes upon 
her favorite's blunders. 



3Q Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 



124 

Vices, more readily than virtues, become 
habits. 



125 

We think of death as near to every one 
but ourselves. 



126 

He that utters the noblest sentiments 
does not always lead the best life. 

127 

The generosity of the man that gives, in 
order that he may receive, is mere greed. 

128 

Men are prone to imagine that because 
some of the censure they receive is unmerit- 
ed, it is all unjustly bestowed. 



Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 31 



129 

A handsome face is usually an index of a 
good heart. 



130 

Poverty is an anchor many times; but 
oftener, a millstone. 



131 
He that marries to please his fancy, usually 
repents to satisfy his judgment. 



132 

Our lives, in great part, are made up of 
events that ordinarily would not occur. 



133 

He is not so much to be pitied who has 
misfortunes, as he that is unable to turn 
them to account, or bear them with patience. 



32 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 



134 

We frequently drink, not that we want 
wine, but wit. 

135 
The things that cost most are the things 
that are given to us. 

136 

There is no character which interest plays 
so often as that of disinterestedness. 

137 
If Christianity were not the true religion 
its ministers would have killed it long ago. 

138 

Sad as it may seem, love, with the majority 
of mankind, is a mere habit, engendered and 
fostered by associations, circumstances, and 
conveniencies; circumscribed and limited by 
the possibilities of prosperity or adversity, 
thrift or unthrift, success or failure. 



Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 33 



139 
The really good are those who are good 
unconsciously. 

140 

The family of the vices is noted for the 
misery of its children, 

141 

Having forgiven our faults, we find fault 
with others .... for being less kind. 

142 

It is some time after we have ceased to 
love that we give up the pretense of loving. 

143 
No man should be judged by an absolute 
standard of morality. The practices of the 
age in which he lives, the habits of the peo- 
ple by whom he is surrounded and a 
thousand considerations of tastes, motives, 
circumstances, and conditions, should enter 
into the account and affect the decision. 



34 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 



144 

A man's life is half over before he learns 
how to live. 

145 
The rejected lover finds his greatest con- 
solation in the belief that he — can never 
again be happy. 

146 

He can not have good manners who has 
not self-possession. Self-possession is the 
first quality of a gentleman. 

147 
The most untiring and ceaseless talkers in 
the world are the man who makes a 
long story short; the minister, who says 
a few words by way of conclusio?t; the law- 
yer, who tries to be as brief as possible ; 
and the woman, who has just a minute to 
stay. 



Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 35 



148 

It is easier to conquer an "I will" than an 
( I will not." 



149 

However unworthy the object, love en- 
nobles the lover. 



150 

He that profits by conversation will, ordi- 
narily, listen but to so much of what is 
said as will furnish him with the cues of his 
own reflections. 

151 
If the Devil were to write a novel, his 
hero would be a bad man subsequently re- 
formed. His Majesty would follow him 
through all the intrigues of vice with intens- 
est sympathy and interest; when he became 

good .... a?td married the story would 

end. 



36 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 



152 

Malice can not go into details without un- 
masking itself. 

153 
By hating a man we confess a certain ad- 
miration for him. 

154 

Time creeps for the lender but flies for 
the borrower. 

155 

It is less difficult to remember what others 
have said than to remember what we our- 
selves have said. 

156 

Flattery is an instrument that every man 
of the world should know how to use. The 
most cunning and irresistible flattery, at the 
proper time, is silence. The most skillful 
flatterer is he who listens well. 



Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 37 



157 
Few would do evil did they not expect 
that from evil good would come. 

158 

The cords with which love binds two 
hearts together are exceeding strong ! We 
may say, "Ah! ah! " and— "It is over." We 
deceive ourselves. The bonds are not all 
broken — some of them remain .... and must 
sever one by one .... and days and months 
and years must aid .... to loosen and decay! 

159 
Most people that write verses give as a 
reason for the belief that they possess talent, 
that they do it so easily. Truly . . . . , for it is 
possible to write a thousand lines of verse 
and not give expression to a single worthy 
thought. They that write should remember 
that mere sound, in composition, is like foam 
upon the water, beautiful .... but nothing 
floats upon it. 



38 Aphorisms of the Three Threes, 



160 

Those who listen most attentively are 
frequently most bored. 



161 

In youth we long for the fame of the fu- 
ture; in age we sigh for the happiness of the 
past. 

162 

To-day is a substance; to-morrow a dream. 
To-day is youth and strength and glory; to- 
morrow old age and feebleness and shame. 
To-day is life; to-morrow death. To-day is 
time; to-morrow eternity. O Mail! seize 
the present, seize to-day, lest to-morrow, the 
iron-handed, seize you! 



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